You can be a great conversationalist. With just a little bit of practice people will hang on to your every word, think of you as brilliant and charming and you’ll soon find the invitations start to flow. Now some may be born with a silver tongue, but more are likely to have developed the art of speaking over time.
Here are my seven basic conversation tips to get you started. They’ve really worked for me, and with a little practice, they will work for you, too.
1. Think about setting a personal goal of having a conversation with two or three people whom you’ve never met. For example, most of us when we go shopping are on a mission. Spend money. Get something in return. This is not unlike attending an event; however, instead of spending money, we spend time; instead of getting a service or product, we meet new people, make new friends and build new relationships.
2. Keep in mind the type of event; plan some general conversation topics ahead and keep them tucked in your back pocket (so to speak). Should the conversation lag, you have a ready-made topic to re-engage and re-energize.
3. When introducing yourself to someone new, consider having a briefly prepared introduction about yourself, ready to roll off the tip of your tongue. Or you can just begin with, “Hello/ Hi. I’d like to introduce myself; I’m ________.” or “Hi, I’m ___________.” And, smile.
4. Think about using open-ended questions to encourage dialogue. Words such as ‘How’ (How did that happen?), or ‘What’ (In what way? What did you find?) help encourage and stimulate conversation. Your goal here is to solicit more than one word answers. Keep in mind that you want to keep the conversation moving, and not have it stop dead in its tracks before it gets going.
5. Let people know that you are happy to meet them. Smile, and look at them. After all, it is very difficult to carry on a conversation with someone if you are not looking them in the eye.
6. While it may be a challenge, work at becoming aware of your body language such as how you stand or sit, your facial expressions and hand movements, your tone of voice and rate of speaking. Your verbal and non verbal cues will indicate to your conversation partner your interest and willingness to stay, or your lack of interest and desire to get out and away.
7. Start small, with short conversations about four to five minutes in length. Ask questions. Give responses. Avoid interrupting, and avoid attaching yourself to one person or one group. Remember your personal goal: meet new people, make new friends and build new relationships.
You’ll be amazed at how quickly your Rolodex grows!
While I still don’t say “Yes” to every invite that lands in my mail box, I’ve been known to say “Yes” to quite a few and always put into practice my seven tips. There are times when I feel like a shirt heading down the laundry chute, arms flapping at full speed when I’m at an event. There is always a little adrenaline that precedes me before I start up the next conversation. So, am I witty, delightful, and charming? Not yet, but I’m getting mighty darn close.
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